One thing I don’t ever want to forget, is the little brother. This blog os about Noah’s Fight, and one of the most important people in that fight, is Zack. For those of you who don’t know, Zack is 19 months old. He was born June 2011.
Zack has been handling this very well. We are seeing some slight regression, but we aren’t jumping on anything for now. We are simply trying to practice what we know he knows, love him dearly, and take care of him and help him realize that Noah isn’t coming back. He does ask where Noah is quite a lot. He will walk into Noah’s room and look all over for him and squeak, “Noah?” “Noah!” with his little voice. I think he grasps the concept of death and that Noah will never be able to play anymore, but I also think that he thinks Noah is in the hospital or hiding from him.
His talking skills are really going through the roof right now, and he is loving potty training. Noah was a big help to that adventure. He may even be potty trained by age 2 if we can keep this whole thing up. He has the cutest smile. Not as cute as Noah’s, but Zack has this crazy i-don’t-know-how-to-smile smile that cracks me up. It is so sweet – here it is.
We had donuts this morning – Noah’s favorite. We’ve been trying to do lots of Noah related activities no matter how hard it is on Evan and I. We want to keep his spirit alive in our house. Going to the zoo was Noah’s favorite. He loved animals so much, so this past weekend, on Saturday, we took Zack to the zoo. It was truly bittersweet, and I actually ended up crying the whole time, but I want Zack to enjoy himself and now that so many of the things we do as a family, we do because of Noah. Noah has and never will truly leave us. I need Zack to realize that. I don’t want Zack to turn out like Reilly’s brother, Langston, and be so alone and confused. Casey and I have been talking about this for weeks and when Noah died I realized that this could be me. I could be dealing with Zack completely vanishing from the inside out just like Langston.
Zack is becoming a handful. He has been climbing and running and screaming and totally being a boy.
He climbed onto the table this morning and ate 3 donuts. THREE. Not including the one we gave him for breakfast. How could this happen, we sort of… left him on the chair… and went into the kitchen. Okay, okay, I left him. Usually he just hops off the chair, but he must have really loved those donuts. Haha.
Well, there is your first weekly Zack update.
Noah, take care of us all. We love you to the moon and back.